Dear Pat, Thank you so much. I will put it on my blog...I'm sure folks in many countries will read it and draw some comfort and faith. May God continue to use you as we look for the shout....When I come back to Tallahassee I'll look you up the Lord willing. love you capt ben Google captben61.blogspot.com and you will find lots of messages [over 100] that might be of help to you.
Mon, Feb 21, 2011 at 10:07 PM, pat hodges
i was going through a difficult divorce and had moved out.i was tired and i had given up i had everything laid out and i was going to commit suicide. had clothes laid out, plastic mat in my chair and the pills that i was going to take i had quit on life and i was tired. on the way home on that november day 12th, 1997 i said i didnt deserve what was going to happen, i said lord i have always believed in you but had never given it to you so its yours if im worth saving then save me but if im not then throw me to the curb as im already there. all i ask if im worth saving then please put someone in my life that can help me to get over all of this. that was on a friday and the next monday the divorce was going to be done. up till this point everytime i saw my soon to be ex she would cuss me accross stores, parking lots everytime i had to lower my head.this is why i had called it quits on myself. the day of the divorce my ex and i were talking with no cussing or yelling and the judge said it looked like all we needed was a little counseling we both looked at eace other and then the judge and said please sign the papers,he didnt want to but he did. we left the court house and parted ways as friends and not enimenes i know god made it that smooth there was no other way it could have been that way. within a week i met my now wife of 14 years and how god was able to send marie into my life it could only be a merical. i feel that my wife got cheated in the marriage she could of done better than me but whom am i to question god. over the next 2 weeks god put so much into my life that i was over welmed it seemed that everytime i thanked god for something he gave me twice more than i could have ever wanted..this one day i was going through a dollar general store and i felt the urge to go down this row where the cleaning supplys and there was these huge cans of bg dissifectant spray and bg carpet fresh for a dollar so i bought 2 of each. i was a 3 1/2 pack a day smoker and on the last day of november, 1997 i said god, i have a bigg one for you. i said i wanted to quit smoking but i was to weak a person but with everything you have done over the last couple of weeks i figgured i would give you the habit and walk away, well guess what thats just what i did i gave it to god and walked away from the smoking habbit he got me through it. the funny part is that there was just enough dissenfect and and carpet fresh to clean my appartment and truck not any left, that was gods doing. god knew that i was going to ask him to quit smoking. god had plans for me before i knew of them. in the 60s and 70s i had a drug problem and untill almost 9 years ago i had an alchoal problem but now im clean, no smoking, no drugs, no booze a great wife, 5 kids, 5 grandkids god had plans for me, big plans and he is not done with me yet. i will have to say if i died now before i complete this letter and i saw god i would have to tell him that with all the problems he allowed me to live through i would be able to tell him thanks for everything as it could have not been a better life, i love you lord for everyone and everything as i am total blessed.
